


It's in All the Things We Don't Say

by 126916912



Series: Deleted 1213659/126916912 Works [5]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Police AU, descriptions of crime scenes/death, reference to a past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-27 08:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30120183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/126916912/pseuds/126916912
Summary: sangyeon butts heads with his partner more often than he'd like but he's alright.
Relationships: Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Sangyeon
Series: Deleted 1213659/126916912 Works [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2216154





	It's in All the Things We Don't Say

Sangyeon had always wondered whether his worst nightmare could come true. It looked as though it wasn’t the case. He just hadn’t realised that his second worst nightmare could come true in its place. He’d never have to find out whether dying alone felt like dying at all. 

Half of Jaehyun’s face was stitched and clotted with scarlet but he was alright. Sangyeon could see him on the hard concrete ground a few yards away. Jaehyun was fine. He had to be. The rusted smears following his movements on the ground had to be a figment of Sangyeon’s imagination, or at least a non-lethal reality. He was too determined even now when his shoulder had been kicked out of its socket and he was bruised beyond care after fighting with all his worth. 

Seeing Jaehyun trying like this was too much. Sangyeon tipped his head away and scrunched his eyes shut but the heat was still there, leaking over the sides of his face. And then a kick centered right at the puncture in Sangyeon’s gut. Sangyeon heard it more than he felt it even though the echo that rang through the subterranean car park was the cracking of his ribs. Pain from his body realising its damage licked at Sangyeon a moment later. He felt it in the flash through his eyelids and the surging of ferrous bile in his throat and the sharp grunt of Jaehyun yelling for their assailant to stop. 

The force had been chasing The Chauffeur for months and finally they were closing in. A monster slicing the jugulars of victims before seating them in their cars as though they were passengers waiting for their driver to take them home. The killings had grown more frequent and it had to mean something. It was the chance the police force couldn’t squander. They sought out every clue from every scene they could and every officer was more vigilant than before.

But Sangyeon and Jaehyun had caught sight of something more than a little bit suspicious. It had to lead closer to stopping The Chauffeur once and for all. They were just a couple of uniformed constables investigating a purse theft in a multistorey carpark. Sangyeon was the one who didn’t want to call it in. He wanted to give Jaehyun a chance to have something to rub in the face of the detective inspector who was always giving him grief. So it was Sangyeon’s fault that Jaehyun was writhing aimlessly as he tried to get up. For what, Sangyeon couldn’t imagine. 

The Chauffeur crouched at Sangyeon’s side and pressed a serrated blade against Sangyeon’s throat. “The funny thing is, you’re not that far from your car. Would you both like to sit together?”

*

“You’re making me walk the beat with this clown?” Jaehyun asked. 

“I’d say you’re the clown, Mister Barely Passed Every Assessment,” Sangyeon retorted. Sergeant Kwon raised his eyebrows at Sangyeon but still patted Jaehyun’s shoulder to shepherd him into his allocated seat in the briefing room. 

Sangyeon had the decency to apologise (once nobody was in ear-shot). Jaehyun shrugged it off. “Whatever. It’s not like I can’t take the truth. But I’ll show you that I am better than you are in every conceivable way.”

“Is that a promise?” Sangyeon asked sardonically. Jaehyun looked thoughtful. Maybe a serious question then. 

“Yeah. A promise. Whatever you do, I promise I will do the same thing but better.”

Sangyeon laughed. It was more than just because the class clown wanted it. He was going to enjoy this partnership.

*

“So,” Sangyeon said like the casual colleague (and hopefully one day friend) that he was trying to be. “You went out with Sooyoung for drinks the other day.”

Jaehyun looked at Sangyeon in disbelief as they walked down the highstreet together. He looked about ready to take his hands out of his pockets and swing for Sangyeon. Instead he said, “Yeah. The other day. So why are you bringing it up now?”

“I was thinking maybe you cool, attractive people do dating a bit different to the rest of us. Maybe you wouldn’t do it all in one go. I thought you’d want a few days to get your stories together before telling anyone.”

“Cool, attractive people? Wait, forget that. Dating? Me and Sooyoung?”

Sangyeon shrugged. “Yeah. You’d make a good couple.”

“Based on what exactly?” Jaehyun wasn’t preening and demanding more compliments be lavished upon him like Sangyeon expected. It made Sangyeon wary about continuing on with the things he intended to say but Jaehyun was the type to get irritated about backtracking. 

"You're both good looking and well liked. That sort of thing."

Jaehyun scoffed. "She's gay but even if she wasn't, can't two people just be friends?" 

Two people could be friends. But perhaps Sangyeon was projecting. The last person he'd been in a romantic relationship with had dissected every friendship Sangyeon had and made him justify why he even needed those people at all. 

At the time it had been difficult to explain why Sangyeon needed anyone else at all, especially when those explanations would be twisted and rejected by a person who was so sure they were nurturing. 

Every link between people was suspect and in most cases unnecessary. Groups were fine for socialising as long as Sangyeon paid closest attention to the person he brought, the one who didn't care much for others and turned sulky and sour when anyone else proved to be engaging conversation. Going out alone with just the one friend was cause for concern and an argument was sure to follow. All along Sangyeon had known sentiments like that were dead wrong but it was a truth he had to adopt but months had passed and Sangyeon was in a different home with a different job and different outlook which wasn't so horrifically restrictive. It was work trying to remember how to see normally again. Two people could just be friends. It was silly of Sangyeon to forget that. 

Jaehyun squinted into the distance and his shoulder knocked into Sangyeon's. Sangyeon tried to adjust his stride to give Jaehyun that slice more space that he needed but he got a puzzled expression for his troubles. So that couldn't have been it. He tried to say something more rational but Jaehyun beat him to the punch. 

"People have been telling me to keep an eye on you for a while. Haknyeon and Sergeant Kwon. They seem to think that person from before, your ex, messed with your head but you can tell me the truth. You've always been too insecure, right? You'd have been the class clown from our batch of recruits if I wasn't around - or you'd have tried - but you needed another role seeing as that was taken. But you're not quite as good at leading people as you think you are. If I was you I'd work on that before our probation is up or else you'll never get to be a sergeant."

Sangyeon didn't get it. If Jaehyun was worried about Sangyeon being insecure he wasn't exactly helping matters by saying something like that. 

Of course Sangyeon wanted to have a place of belonging within the group of recruits who were accepted onto the force. He also wanted to impress the chief inspectors and anyone else who had sway over HR in increasing his chances of promotion once the two year probation was done. Joining the police was Sangyeon’s escape from a life of being picked apart. Sangyeon could find his own validation instead of being reminded at every turn that he wasn't good enough, and that even the family and friends who genuinely loved him didn't have time to celebrate his insignificant achievements or hear the concerns he had exaggerated from nothingness. But there wasn't anyone around to reinforce the reminders that Sangyeon had no worth. He had escaped that much and he didn't have to accept hearing he was inferior, and he didn't have to agree that Jaehyun was right. 

Sangyeon had to be better and prove him wrong. 

Being better was a difficult start to get when Jaehyun so easily approached an old woman struggling with her shopping and took hold of the heavy bags to ease her load as she shuffled on her way to the bus stop. 

*

Jaehyun flinched at the hand on his shoulder. Sangyeon felt bad, but not too bad. They'd both seen something grim. It wasn't pertinent to dwell on it. Sangyeon had worked out a long time ago that distraction was a temporary cure for many things. 

"Can I help you with something?" Jaehyun asked into his locker. His voice echoed inside the space and Sangyeon almost dreaded why Jaehyun was choosing to speak into the privacy of metal instead of turning to snap at the person who bothered him. 

"Today was…" The words stopped because Sangyeon didn't have more. He needed to try a different tack rather than pick at a bloody memory that had barely coagulated in the hours since they returned to the station. 

Maybe it was because the lighting in the changing room was an exhausted yellow which only made Jaehyun look sallow rather than lit by cheer that Sangyeon couldn't pretend away the first call of the morning. 

It was their job. They had to get used to sights like the boggled terror frozen on the face of the person found belted into the back seat of their own car. But the person looked uncannily like an old Punch puppet and the car engine was still warm, popping as it cooled from its long drive in the fresh morning air. 

Jaehyun threw up at the crime scene. 

Sangyeon wasn't sure how he managed not to do the same himself. Even now he was waiting for the mortification to set in, something dense and rigid that would crack him right in two. 

Sangyeon took his hand off Jaehyun's shoulder and tucked it under his armpit as he folded his arms. "I don't really want to go home alone tonight. Can we hang out for a bit? Until I forget everything."

The line of Jaehyun’s shoulders was stiff and his knuckles blanched on the edge of his locker door. He exhaled and looked over his shoulder at Sangyeon. 

"You and me? You want to hang out together?" 

Sangyeon nodded. Jaehyun smiled. 

"Let's go for a drink," Jaehyun grinned. "We won't stop until you even forget who I am."

Sangyeon sort of wanted that for himself. 

*

Chaekyung was very tactile once Sangyeon had paid the toll of taking precisely posed candid pictures for her to upload to instagram. She preferred the atmosphere and aesthetic of cafés, yet every time she brought Sangyeon out to one she bought a bottle of wine. 

Chaekyung dragged her chair right beside Sangyeon’s, the screeching of chairlegs as she went disturbing far too many of the other customers. She smiled gummily and rested her head on Sangyeon’s shoulder. 

"I am so proud of you, being a hero just like me."

"We have completely different jobs."

"Even if the police are evil, you're one of the good guys. You're in it to be a hero and save lives," Chaekyung said firmly. "No matter what happened in the past, nobody can break you down. Not even your horrible partner at work."

"I didn't say he was horrible, you're putting words into my mouth," Sangyeon denied. 

"No, I have you on tape. You complained about him for a full two hours last week. But not today. Today we're celebrating your brilliant achievements with a nice bottle of red," Chaekyung sing-songed. Sangyeon knew they wouldn't stop at the one bottle because Chaekyung was at least a two bottle sort of woman anyway. But Sangyeon loved her for that as well as everything else. He owed her everything, even if she had a habit of getting rowdy in the wrong places. 

*

"You know everyone thinks you're a prick, right?" Sangyeon asked as they waited in the foyer for their tactical driving tests. Sangyeon was scheduled after Jaehyun but he'd woken up too early after a stress dream about oversleeping and crashing on his way to the police test centre. Jaehyun was early for his test too seeing as two constables had already been called since Sangyeon arrived and neither of them were Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun looked tired but he still did well to look put upon by the fact Sangyeon was talking to him. He looked askance at Sangyeon before offering his own barbed words. "That's exactly what I want, thanks. It might disappoint you to know everyone thinks the same about you too."

"I'm nice," Sangyeon said. 

Jaehyun laughed, a sound that lacked feeling but after a moment he shuffled around in his tattered fabric seat to face Sangyeon. The line of his shoulders was relaxed as he leaned forwards across the torn seat between them. "Do you really believe that or are you just trying to make a joke?" 

Sangyeon shrugged, hopefully giving nothing away. "Who thinks otherwise?" 

"Everyone. Ask anybody and they will tell you that you're a prick too. Maybe worse than me, you know."

"What have I done to make people think that?" 

Jaehyun took a moment to think. And then he gave up. "I don't know. You work it out. I am trying not to forget how to drive."

"You'll be fine," Sangyeon said brusquely. "Tell me exactly how and why I am a prick."

Jaehyun raised his eyebrows and sat back in his seat to face the right way. He glanced quickly at Sangyeon and said, "You have to promise not to get your feelings hurt."

It was only then that Sangyeon considered that Jaehyun might not have been bluffing. Sangyeon probably would get his feelings hurt but he could count on being able to pass the tactical driving test. The theory test had been about as easy as any ordinary driving theory test and the practical was something he was quietly confident about. He wouldn't implode over it just because of some home truths coming from someone with the propensity to exaggerate. 

Sangyeon promised not to get his feelings hurt. Jaehyun let loose. 

By the end of hearing about how he chewed too loudly and he routinely talked over people and ignored colleagues and civilians alike who weren't at his eye level (those were the flaws which stuck out to Sangyeon the most from Jaehyun's list as they must have been untrue) Sangyeon considered that he might really have been a prick this whole time without knowing. 

Regardless of finding out that people had cause to hate him, Sangyeon thought he managed to get through the tactical driving test without too much difficulty. 

*

Haknyeon invited Sangyeon. He tried to deny it but there was no way Jaehyun was the one to send an email to Sangyeon’s work account with kitschy clipart and too many exclamation marks. It was Haknyeon even if he shook his head and smiled when Sangyeon asked at the get-together itself. 

"It wasn't me. I'm not allowed to invite other people to Jaehyun's birthday. That's just silly."

Haknyeon was giggling and trying to hide behind his plastic cup of something sickly sweet but even crowding Haknyeon against the fridge wasn't shining any light on things. 

"Tell me the truth. Jaehyun is sick of seeing me at work so there's no way he wanted me here too."

"It wasn't me," Haknyeon insisted under cover of a laugh that squirmed out of him. Sangyeon wasn't even touching him but Haknyeon was vibrating cautiously on the spot like he expected Sangyeon’s hand to jab him in the ribs. A gentler touch of Sangyeon’s hand pressing flatly against Haknyeon's side elicited much the same response. Colour was high in Haknyeon's cheeks as he smiled brightly up at Sangyeon. It was something like a secret. 

"What are you two doing hiding away in here?" Jaehyun asked loudly. Haknyeon seared against Sangyeon’s palm and as Jaehyun shooed them away from the fridge Sangyeon gingerly curled his hand against his chest. 

"Sangyeon thinks I'm lying," Haknyeon said, sticking his head into the fridge alongside Jaehyun. So. Not a secret. 

"Sangyeon thinks a lot of things."

"He thinks I invited him to your birthday though."

Haknyeon was shoved out of the way once more with the instruction to stop Jiwoo from getting too close to the fish tank in the living room. And then it was just Sangyeon standing in the kitchen when Jaehyun resurfaced with a bowl of grapes. He offered the bowl to Sangyeon before plonking it down on the counter. 

Grazing on grapes didn't do much to ease the dense silence between them. Sangyeon could hear people he was friends with and people he wanted to be friends with laughing over a tournament played on Haknyeon's Switch, and others singing along badly as they danced and ate. And Sangyeon was wondering why he was here at all. 

"Why do you have to make a big deal out of everything?" Jaehyun asked. 

"What do you mean? When?" 

Jaehyun made an impatient sound and plucked another grape from the bunch. "All the time," Jaehyun offered. Then, "You were invited, weren't you? What does it matter whose decision that was?" 

"You don't like me. It is weird that I'm here."

"Well don't come next time." Jaehyun had a point. It would have saved a lot of hassle if Sangyeon had thought of something like that independently. Jaehyun sighed though and added, "More people means more presents."

"I didn't get you a present."

Sangyeon was used to the way Jaehyun looked at him. It was usually an unimpressed gleam which had Sangyeon searching for ways to mask the inadequacies he hadn't realised were on show. This look was different though. It stretched beyond the seconds Sangyeon saw it and it stoked something that had withered pathetically inside Sangyeon’s chest. Jaehyun was seeing too much but the possibilities of what he'd focused on had Sangyeon scrambling to deflect and find out how to make himself decent once more. 

Jaehyun picked up the bowl and nudged Sangyeon hard enough for the rim to bite into skin. "You should fix that." 

Jaehyun left the kitchen and Sangyeon could only ponder for a short while before some friends who could only have been invited by Haknyeon evicted him from the room. 

*

"You actually look like a real police man in that uniform."

"Officer," Sangyeon corrected. Kang Mina huffed and looked to Jaehyun for reinforcement. He grinned down at her, irritatingly handsome as he kept his hands tucked into his stab vest and rocked back on his heels. 

"Officer," he supplied. 

"You're both annoying. Why couldn't one of Haknyeon's unannoying police friends come to patrol my shoot?" Mina asked. She pulled her padded coat more tightly around herself and swept her hair out of her face as she waited for an answer. 

"Haknyeon isn't our Sergeant," Sangyeon pointed out. "How would he have decided who does what?" 

"He's not even in the police force," Jaehyun added. 

"He's my friend though," Mina pouted. No matter how true that was it didn't make a difference. 

Sangyeon hadn't believed Haknyeon when he said, "Kang Mina is my best friend." They had been walking past one of her billboards and it had taken Haknyeon an entire afternoon to convince Sangyeon that he had met such a famous actress at all. When it turned out that Haknyeon wasn't lying or exaggerating Sangyeon had been impressed. But actually meeting her months after finding out was underwhelming. She was something of a diva. 

"Will you at least jump in front of a bullet to save me?" Mina asked. She eyed Sangyeon pointedly as she added, "Haknyeon would be very sad if I died."

"Even if it meant Haknyeon would never speak to me again I would not jump in front of a bullet to save you."

Mina scowled. "I'm famous and cute. You can't speak to me like that."

"Are you famous?" Jaehyun asked as he looked pointedly away from the three buses which passed with Mina's face printed over their sides. "I hadn't noticed."

"You're not cute," Mina sniffed. 

"I wouldn't want you of all people to think I'm cute," Jaehyun said. 

Mina narrowed her eyes at Jaehyun. "You just wait until filming is done for the day. Haknyeon is going to hear all about how horrible you are."

"Don't worry," Jaehyun said. "He'll hear all about it from me."

Sangyeon didn't doubt that Jaehyun and Mina would both exaggerate in their accounts but he worried about what that really meant. He hoped he'd at least come out of it without being mentioned. He just wanted an easy day at work. He deserved that much. 

*

Juyeon was nice. He had an easy smile and clearly knew he was handsome even if he didn't really know what to do with his good looks. He relished the attention nonetheless and Sangyeon struggled to keep up a conversation with him whenever they met. The uniform might not have helped.

"Please, Juyeon, don't you get tired of all the preening for attention?" 

Juyeon slipped his coat off his shoulders to reveal the tight stretch of his T-shirt across his chest and slung it over his shoulder with a grin at a cluster of rubberneckers who were pleasantly surprised by what they saw at the incident site. Collectively, they swooned. 

"How could I get tired of this?" Juyeon asked. 

"You just cut someone out of their car," Sangyeon pointed out. 

Juyeon gestured over his shoulder at the ambulance and said, "It's fine. They're getting checked over so my job is done."

That might have been true but it was an accident which could have been much worse. The witness statements Sangyeon took claimed the car was doing 70 around the bend before veering off the road. It was inexplicable that the car hadn't ended up wrapped around a tree. 

"I give up," Jaehyun said as he approached. He flipped open his notebook and read, "'The silver Jaguar XF, registration XXX59 XX0, was overtaking a white Citroën van' - which I will have you know is nowhere to be seen and hasn't been mentioned by any other witnesses - 'before skidding over the central reservation where it gained a trajectory of four metres high and sailed over the grassy verge and into the field over yonder.'"

"Over yonder?" Juyeon asked. 

"I have to take the statements exactly as they are phrased," Jaehyun grumbled. "Anyway, what I want to know is how that fucker is still alive and kicking."

"That's not a very nice thing to say," Sangyeon grinned. 

"Don't talk to me in public. People will think we know each other or something," Jaehyun said as he snapped his notebook shut. 

Sangyeon sort of hoped people did realise he and Jaehyun knew each other. It was something he was relying on for safety and was a good enough thought to fortify him during his day to day dealings. But Sangyeon didn't say anything like that. 

He said, "You just don't want me to get the sainthood I am owed for putting up with you."

Jaehyun glowered. "Your friend was asking for you by the way."

"What friend?" 

"That's a bold question for someone who claims not to have any friends."

"I'm your friend," Juyeon said helpfully. And then he blew a kiss to a gaggle of ogling onlookers. That part was much less helpful. 

"The paramedic," Jaehyun said. 

It was a dismissal more than anything but Sangyeon took it. The escape seemed much easier than attempting to decipher what Juyeon was actually trying to tell him about the non-league basketball team he played for. The paramedic, Chaekyung, dangling her legs out the back doors of the ambulance, looked happy to see him. She stopped noting down the readings her partner was calling out on her tablet and smiled widely. 

"Sangyeon, my favourite man, I was just wondering when I'd get the chance to bend your ear." 

That was ominous. Maybe Jaehyun hadn't been lying to Sangyeon to get rid of him. 

"What did you want?" 

Chaekyung pouted. "There are some things better asked in person and you kept swerving me until this old codger caused enough trouble that you had no choice but to meet me."

"I'll have you for talking like that! I'm a patient!" Croaked the old codger in question. He raised his fist and clutched at his head where Chaekyung's partner was struggling to dress the wound on his forehead. It looked like more of a battle than anything. 

"You're only a patient until the hospital let me know you're fine and I can arrest you," Sangyeon called over. The old man grumbled and kicked up more of a fuss. Sangyeon felt a smidge guilty for leaving Chaekyung's partner to deal with the ensuing ruckus while she rolled her eyes. 

"Thanks. Anyway, I have a favour to ask, my dearest and closest schoolfriend."

"I could have guessed that much."

"Could you at least play along at being happy to see me? Your friend definitely isn't going to be convinced if I can't even get you on board."

Sangyeon took a moment to savour the ignorance of being utterly confused. But he had to ask the question at some point. "On board with what?" 

Chaekyung tightened her ponytail and smiled toothily up at Sangyeon. "You know how I am moving house, right? And that you love me? And that I need some big strong guys to help me pack and move all my stuff?" 

"No. Do you really think Jaehyun will help you? Are you just inviting him over so your friend can be weird about him again?" 

Chaekyung huffed. "Chaewon isn't weird about him. She just wants reparations for that time he pushed her into a puddle when they were at school." Chaekyung didn't give Sangyeon enough time to process that. She just went ahead and added, "He said he'd help out if it is what you wanted."

That didn't make any sense.

"He said that? Jaehyun? The Jaehyun I work with?" 

Chaekyung pouted a bit more. She said, "Don't you trust me? He really said that he'd come to help if you would come too." 

Sangyeon didn't want to accuse Chaekyung of being a liar but he didn't see why Jaehyun would agree to something like that, especially when it was the sort of favour Sangyeon wouldn't refuse too emphatically. 

There was something about this which didn't quite make sense to Sangyeon, and when he looked around to find Jaehyun, it was a surprise to find he wasn't waving at admirers with Juyeon. Instead, Jaehyun was looking very focused as he spoke to a witness. It seemed like a ruse. The witness must have been a stooge to make Jaehyun appear conscientious enough for Sangyeon to be convinced to agree to help Chaekyung. Jaehyun had likely agreed no such thing and was just helping to trap Sangyeon. Yet Sangyeon found himself going along with the scene and agreeing to volunteer his services. And Jaehyun's too. 

*

"What are you doing?" Jaehyun asked. 

Sangyeon recovered from his flinch and tried to affect a calmer air. He'd gone for a sandwich at breaktime but the tomatoes were slipping from between the bread and had somehow lubricated the slices of ham, and the wilted lettuce was fluttering to its escape from between the slices of bread. Sangyeon could admit he was making a pig's ear out of what should be a simple task. 

Sangyeon put down the sandwich and attempted a pleasant expression for Jaehyun who had clearly come to bother him and do little else. 

"I'm eating lunch," Sangyeon explained even though it couldn't be called lunch at this time. 

Jaehyun rolled his eyes and dropped into the chair beside Sangyeon’s to fix him with a glare. 

"No. Stupid. At work. What are you doing at work?" 

The question explained a lot - namely the reason behind the puzzled glares Sangyeon had been receiving from Jaehyun all day. But Sangyeon had checked the roster several times. He was sure he was supposed to be in today. 

"It's Monday."

"It's your birthday," Jaehyun corrected. 

Sangyeon nodded. "That too."

Jaehyun brought his chair closer to Sangyeon’s. "I feel like I should remind you that Haknyeon really has sworn off talking to you ever again. He was trying so hard to pin you down to plans but you kept avoiding it and now he's mad at you."

"He sent me a text though this morning," Sangyeon supplied. He even unlocked his phone and found the overly decorated message which was an eyesore for all the emojis. "Happy birthday."

Jaehyun smiled for a second before his face turned serious and he shook his head. "That doesn't count. He really won't speak to you again. He wanted to throw you a party or at least plan a dinner."

It wasn't the first Sangyeon had heard of these plans but Jaehyun made the situation sound worse than it was. He'd told Haknyeon not to bother so it wasn't his fault that Haknyeon went out of his way to organise things that would ultimately fall through. 

"I'll apologise to him. He'll talk to me again. If not then I guess it will be because he's not a friend I deserve."

Jaehyun sighed. "He won't. You'll have nobody left unless I vouch for you."

"Work is busy," Sangyeon said. It sounded flimsy but it almost felt like practice saying it in front of someone who promised to corroborate his excuse. 

"I am nowhere near convinced," Jaehyun said. "Haknyeon is going to will you out of existence at this rate."

Jaehyun wore a smile as he delivered his verdict but Sangyeon wondered if that was why he thought he didn't really mind. 

*

Jaehyun was as polite as anything as he helped to move boxes from the flat into the removal van, smiling and trying to joke around with Chaekyung and her roommate Chaewon. Chaekyung kept smiling back and laughing only to raise her eyebrows at Sangyeon every time Jaehyun's back was turned. 

Sangyeon took his chance to finally ask about it when Jaehyun headed back up the narrow staircase to Chaekyung's flat. 

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Sangyeon asked. "He's being nice, isn't he?" 

Chaekyung sighed, her breath condensing softly, and pulled her jacket tighter around herself as she perched on the ledge at the back of the van. She patted the space beside her and Sangyeon sat down. 

"What?" he grumbled. He doubted they had time for a heart-to-heart, at least not before they froze to death in the middle of winter. 

"He's very nice," Chaekyung said lightly. Sangyeon could almost convince himself that the comment didn't mean anything, but hearing it rubbed him the wrong way for some reason. 

"Don't let him hear you say that. His head is already big enough." 

"You're the one who said he was nice first!" Chaekyung laughed. Sangyeon paused for a moment. She was right. It would be better if she wasn't right. 

"I said he was being nice. It's different."

"If you say so." Chaekyung kicks her feet into the air and smiled at Sangyeon. "I am glad that you met a friend like him. And I'm glad you enjoy your job too. You're like a different person to the Sangyeon who was never allowed out."

"It was a while ago," Sangyeon muttered. 

"You've come so far since then. I'm proud of you."

"Why are you making it into some big thing? It's just normal. I'm normal."

Chaekyung hugged Sangyeon to her side. "That's right, you're normal. Well done. Now you can be honest and live your life as a real person."

Sangyeon laughed. He wasn't sure he should begin to be honest about everything, but he wanted to at least make Chaekyung worry a bit less. He patted her knee and a smile felt like a good start. "You should help me out. What is it that real people do?" 

Chaekyung pretended to think hard about it and all she could come up with was, "They give their close friends lots of money."

"I'm not giving you money."

Jaehyun returns with a box in his arms and irritation on his face. "Are you really just sitting out here chatting? I'm going to tell Chaewon and she will ban you from eating the snacks she has been preparing."

As threats go it is weak, but Chaekyung assured Jaehyun that he doesn't have the jurisdiction to enforce any such snack restrictions under her roof. 

*

Jaehyun was steadier this time. 

Perhaps it was how late into the shift that the discovery was made, or maybe it was a result of conditioning. Either way Jaehyun didn't look like he needed Sangyeon to want company. But the company was offered and Jaehyun accepted it so they went to waste their night in a Mcdonald's. 

Jaehyun picked at a thick wax crayon line on the table surface. He hadn't touched his burger and his fries lay in a limp heap in the lid of the burger box. Even they had been abandoned in favour of Jaehyun’s supremely important task. They were probably fair game so Sangyeon stole a couple. 

Jaehyun watched a bundle of fries disappear into Sangyeon’s mouth and he swallowed like he expected to benefit from the nutrition too. 

Jaehyun coughed lightly. He said, "It happens to everyone eventually but it's horrible. I'm selfish. I don't want it to happen to me. Not like that, not alone."

Sangyeon chewed the staw of his pop and waited for another pensive fragment. He didn't get one so he said, "I think everyone is scared to die alone."

"Yeah."

Fear of dying alone was natural. Living alone was bad enough but being alone in death was curious. Did it count if nobody was around to record the time of the incident or in fact that it had happened? 

Sangyeon couldn't be sure. He supposed it counted when the person was discovered and reported to the police. But that was long after the incident occurred. To be alone when it is long before a person's time to expire, Sangyeon wondered whether it was more terrifying that the last moments when there were still so many things to say and do would be lost without a caring ear to hear them. 

Sangyeon could think of something scarier still than dying alone. It is one thing having life torn away from a person without the chance to pass on the important things to say, but the thought of a loved one being around to witness it seems worse. Then again Sangyeon still wasn't far enough along in life since he wondered whether he'd be alone with only a person he probably loved to hear the last things he had to say. Sangyeon didn't want to bring up the comparison and add another burden to Jaehyun's pensive state, but refusing to ask about it meant he could only hope the thought had never occurred to Jaehyun. 

Getting lost in morbid thought was far too simple of an activity, and Sangyeon wanted to direct them both to somewhere a bit safer without callously changing the subject and brushing away a vulnerable confession. Sangyeon sighed. All he could think to say were words that would reassure himself, words that he hoped to breathe existence into just by speaking them. Almost a good luck charm, mostly a platitude to convince himself he had the power to prevent the realisation of a fear. 

"I don't think it will happen to you," he said quietly. There was a moment where Sangyeon thought he might still have pricked at Jaehyun with something that would please himself. But a shared glance relieved the tightness in Sangyeon’s chest. Jaehyun wanted to follow this thread of conversation away from introspection that was too vast for their slice of a table in a Mcdonald's after midnight. 

"You can't make a guarantee like that considering the job we're in," Jaehyun grinned. 

"I know you don't want to hear this but I'll be there to make sure you won't be alone." 

"What," Jaehyun prodded, an almost jeering lilt to his enquiry, "You'll pass on my last words to my loved ones?" 

"Of course," Sangyeon agreed, because it was easy to play along, because it was what they both needed to hear. "What else are partners for? Besides, this way I get to guarantee I'll live longer than you."

Jaehyun dropped his chin into his hands and scowled at Sangyeon across the table. He grumbled, "Knob," but there was no harm in it whatsoever. 

*

They kissed at the Christmas party. Sangyeon could blame the lights and the booze and the festivity in the air all he wanted but none of those things worked as an excuse for why he kept thinking about it in the days afterwards. 

The only word Sangyeon had to describe how Jaehyun looked right before the kiss was 'beautiful'. The angles of his face were all sorts of divine and the daring in his eyes was playing too much with the dizziness of Sangyeon’s mind and the dry of his mouth and it was something like victory when he managed not to wuss out of it and pulled Jaehyun close at the end of the night to the backing track of tell me more, tell me more. 

They kissed at the Christmas party but Jaehyun never mentioned it. So Sangyeon had to wait for the burning in his face to recede into desperate smoulders in his mind when they walked too close together on the beat, or when their fingers brushed in the exchange of documents or Jaehyun beckoned Sangyeon with nothing more than the call of his name. 

They kissed at the Christmas party and Sangyeon pretended to forget, because Jaehyun already had. 

*

"Let me drive," Jaehyun said. He sounded more cross than was necessary and hearing him like that almost had Sangyeon obeying. But he tucked the keys back against the palm of his hand. 

"Why? What's wrong with the way I drive?" 

"Nothing, usually," Jaehyun shrugged. He eyed Sangyeon’s hand like he was scoping out the best way to gain possession of the keys. But he stopped and looked like he found the answer in Sangyeon’s countenance. "You didn't file a form about your wrist though. I wouldn't feel suitably insured with the knowledge that you're trying to hide an injury that will hinder your driving."

The fall hadn't been too out of the ordinary. Constables often got into scuffles with suspects and that was that. Except Sangyeon’s wrist had taken his weight in an awkward way and he wasn't entirely sure about it. Aside from the fact that it hurt. The sporadic twinges of pain and the onset of a dull ache are enough of a bother for Sangyeon to favour his left hand but he hadn't realised Jaehyun noticed. 

But Jaehyun was probably right about driving being a bad idea. Sangyeon let him drive. It was Sangyeon’s right as a passenger to complain about it all the while. 

*

Haknyeon was arm in arm with Jiwoo and smiling like the happiest man alive. The pair of them were practically skipping down the street and the air was sweet with opportunity. 

"It's too easy," Sangyeon muttered under his breath. 

"What are you talking about?" Jaehyun asked, more sullenly than was necessary. But it wasn't quite enough to prevent Sangyeon enthusiastically waving and calling out to Haknyeon. 

Just like things were normal Haknyeon's face split into a wide smile and he followed easily when Jiwoo pulled him along. They went through all the usual greetings and exchanged news of how boring the beat was with news of how exciting an excursion with petty cash could be. 

Jiwoo was midway through describing the birthday cake they'd ordered when the mildly concerned expression on Haknyeon's face broke entirely. 

"We're not friends," Haknyeon interrupted. He apologised but Jiwoo wasn't ready to accept it. 

"Where is this coming from? What are you talking about?" Jiwoo asked. "I was joking! Of course we can get ourselves an extra cake to recover from our tough journey."

"No, we will be friends forever, Jiwoo, I love you."

Jiwoo smiled toothily once again and patted Haknyeon on the head. "Oh good. I love you too. But don't interrupt me with something so horrid again."

"Wait! Sangyeon isn't my friend. He wouldn't let me throw him a birthday party."

"Oh. That's evil," Jiwoo said seriously. She wagged her finger at Sangyeon menacingly. "Why wouldn't you want Haknyeon to throw you a party? He would throw the best party for you!" 

"I didn't want a fuss," Sangyeon shrugged. 

"That's a terrible excuse! It would have been good! Cake and presents! Didn't you want any of that?" 

This wasn't the opportunity Sangyeon had hoped it to be. Jiwoo was phrasing things well enough to cement guilt to Sangyeon’s insides and Haknyeon looked vindicated considering he had been slipping up and forgetting to blank Sangyeon as thoroughly as he intended. All the excuse Sangyeon could offer to Jiwoo's unimpressed expression was a weak, rambling apology. 

"Work has been busy," Jaehyun interjected before Sangyeon could undermine his own apology. Jaehyun didn't even look at Sangyeon as he said it. Just at Haknyeon and Jiwoo, like he was telling the truth. "Sangyeon has extra responsibilities and gets called in at weird times, so the party could have been ruined if he let you arrange one." 

Even Sangyeon was starting to believe a lie like that. Haknyeon wasn't happy to hear it but there was nothing he could say to argue back for now. 

Jiwoo explained how time-sensitive the office birthday cake operation was and she and Haknyeon were on their way. 

"Thank you for lying for me," Sangyeon said. 

"Whatever," Jaehyun shrugged. "Now you owe me one."

It was fair. 

*

The beat Sangyeon walked with Jaehyun looped and crossed over with a few other teams around problem areas. As much as Sangyeon understood why patrols needed to focus on vulnerable areas, he could never work out how he never saw anyone else with more than a cursory presence around the multistorey carpark which boasted a valeting service fit for royals despite also being the stomping ground of several petty criminals. 

"Stop taking pictures, we're literally on CCTV," Sangyeon pointed out after he had taken a good enough picture of the keyed car himself. Jaehyun was crouched beside the car trying to get the perfect shot but jumped to his feet at the sound of people approaching. Jaehyun tipped his hat towards them. 

"We're going electronic," Jaehyun lied. "Paperless records and all that."

Sangyeon managed to stifle his laugh until they were gone. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous? Someone carved the likeness of the goddess Jeon Jihyun into a car door completely by accident. Obviously I am going to take a picture to commemorate the perfect crime," Jaehyun reasoned. "Look, Sooyoung and Juyeon love it. Are you telling me that Chaekyung isn't impressed too?" 

"She's impressed," Sangyeon admitted. His picture was blurrier than the one Jaehyun had spent time carefully framing, but it captured the miracle well enough. He was just wary that the car's owner could return from the pot of tea she'd gone to buy to help her to recover from discovering the mindless vandalism she'd fallen victim to. Secretly, Sangyeon didn't feel entirely sympathetic towards the woman, though that was more to do with the passing resemblance she bore to someone Sangyeon used to know rather than how rude she was as she demanded a manhunt for the persons responsible for the damage. 

"She probably deserved it," Jaehyun said, like that made things any better. "It's like she thinks the lines painted on the floor are just for decoration."

"That's not fair," Sangyeon warned. "If she can't appreciate Jeon Jihyun in her car door then I don't think she cares much for decorations."

Jaehyun laughed, knocked his shoulder into Sangyeon’s as he leaned against the car boot in wait of the owner. He glanced down at his phone. "Haknyeon says, can we ask the artist to do Kang Mina next." 

"Maybe we'll put in a request if we find them," Sangyeon laughed. As much as Jaehyun appreciated the comment, it took twenty minutes too long to convince the car's owner that they were taking the crime seriously and would do their utmost to track down the vandals. 

*

Sangyeon saw Jaehyun at the gym regularly. They were members at the same gym and as their schedules were similar it wasn't too much of a surprise to sometimes be at the gym at the same time. What was less of a fact Sangyeon could take for granted was that over the past few months Jaehyun would greet Sangyeon, almost like a friend. 

Sangyeon was already between sets of lat pull-downs when Jaehyun walked by. Sangyeon watched in the mirror as Jaehyun headed over to the treadmills whilst texting on his phone. It wasn't anything to be too bothered about because Sangyeon didn't have anything to say to Jaehyun either. He was here for a workout so he went ahead with his plan. 

It would have been nice to say Sangyeon did what he was there for, had a protein shake and popped to the corner shop on his way home. But he didn't get anywhere near that point without checking to make sure he was a casual and nonchalant distance away from Jaehyun. 

Sangyeon was adjusting the smith machine when Jaehyun nudged his shoulder with a waterbottle. 

"Oh. Hey," Sangyeon said, not sure if he successfully pretended to not have noticed Jaehyun in the first place. 

"Hey, what are you doing?" 

Sangyeon looked around before replying. "I'm at the gym."

"Yeah, of course," Jaehyun said. He uncapped his water but didn't quite take a sip. He simply held it between them and said, "I was just wondering how you are."

"I'm fine, how are you?" Sangyeon was unsure of the question himself but it was the easiest thing to say whilst not knowing what to expect from Jaehyun at the moment. 

"Yeah. Are you alright though? Really?" 

"I'm fine, are you? You're being kind of strange."

Jaehyun recapped his bottle. "Sorry. I just noticed…" Jaehyun gestured vaguely around his own right shoulder. Sangyeon still didn't get it. Jaehyun said, "You've got… something."

Sangyeon did understand at that point. He had some ugly marks across his back and shoulders which he never thought too much about because he didn't look at them too much. But Jaehyun clearly had seen them _because_ Sangyeon hadn't thought twice about going sleeveless. 

"They're from a while ago," Sangyeon explained. Perhaps the implication was more than clear because Jaehyun's jaw set as he thought up a genius line like, "Your ex is out of line for doing that to you."

Sangyeon knew that already. He'd thought it every time a cigarette seared against his skin as it was extinguished. He knew it when he finally had to admit to what had happened, and he knew it when Chaekyung had refused to open her front door wider than a few inches to Sangyeon’s ex but offered fake assistance to try to find wherever he might have been. 

Sangyeon smiled. "Don't worry about it. Do you want to do some sets here too?" 

Jaehyun hesitated but shook his head. "No, sorry. I have somewhere to be. I'll see you at work though, okay? Look after yourself." 

Sangyeon fully intended to look after himself, but he couldn't quite work out why Jaehyun had such a short trip to the gym. 

*

Sangyeon wouldn't say that Jaehyun had an inflammatory personality. He was irritating and could get Sangyeon’s blood boiling but Sangyeon suspected that it was because he was easy enough for Jaehyun to have remembered the most entertaining pressure points. He wasn’t like that with everyone.

There was a detective inspector though. D.I. Jang was a bit of a superstar in his days as a uniformed constable but in the decade or so since then he hadn't put much effort into continuing his legacy. He had a habit of passing over paperwork and getting shirty with people for not amending reports to reflect his own impressions. He was irritating but hierarchy had officers like Sangyeon and Jaehyun scraping and bowing because, despite how useless he was, D.I. Jang held a lot of sway around the station. 

More often than not D.I. Jang sought Jaehyun out for some mismatched sparring. It was something Sangyeon expected daily and it was something he could see the signs of with ease. Truthfully anybody who knew Jaehyun could realise why he was in such a sullen mood but there was a lot going on around the station to distract people from whatever intentions they had to let him vent. Aside from Sangyeon who was sort of obligated to be a sounding board. 

"Does he really think he has the right to be such a disrespectful twat just because he's old and has wasted his life?" Jaehyun asked as he scuffed his shoe against the tiled wall of the toilets. 

Sangyeon stayed a safe distance away, leaning against the row of sinks. He was only prepared to get involved if Jaehyun started lashing out at things which were more breakable than the ceramic tiles grouted to the wall. So far the pipes and cubicle doors were left alone so Sangyeon kept his arms folded across his chest and listened to Jaehyun's complaints. 

"I can't wait for him to have a heart attack so we can get a break from him whilst he's in the hospital."

"That's a bit… Are you sure you want to say things like that?" Sangyeon asked cautiously. 

"Do you think I'll be sorry if he really does have a heart attack? I'm not the one tipping lard down his throat every hour. He can regret his own mistakes. I'll be glad when it happens."

Sangyeon suspected Jaehyun didn't really mean it. But D.I. Jang was awful. It wouldn't be a surprise if all the saturated fats had done their job in congealing his blood at some point in the near future. But begrudging someone's present quality of life was extreme considering the man was simply mean and hadn't done anything overtly evil as far as they were aware. 

"He just bothers you to get a reaction," Sangyeon placated. It was an attempt. Sangyeon was sure he was next in the kicking order with the swiftness of Jaehyun’s approach. Jaehyun grabbed Sangyeon’s shirt to pull him away from the sinks. They were nose to nose and Sangyeon considered it might be better to get hit and get it over with. Not that he wouldn't hit back but it could be a useful release of anger. 

But Jaehyun didn't hit. He released Sangyeon and took a step back and a juddering exhale. "You bother me to get a rise. He gets some genuine kick out of being shitty."

"Don't you think he knows how much it gets your back up all day? Every time. He doesn't even need to say anything to you and you get like this," Sangyeon pointed out. 

"Don't act like you're the paragon of rationality. It doesn't take a professional wind-up merchant to get you bothered," Jaehyun grumbled. He shuffled to the sink beside Sangyeon and stared at his reflection, only looking away when Sangyeon spoke. 

"It only takes you."

Jaehyun scoffed and leaned against the counter. He raised his chin like he was really going to say anything impressive. It wasn't. "Do you want me to die? Do I bother you that much?" 

"Obviously not, stupid. You just bother me the normal amount." Sangyeon straightened his shirt and wondered how out of place he would seem amongst the other uniforms. It wasn't too creased so he supposed it was good enough. "Don't say things about wanting someone to die. It will make you worse than him."

"You're right," Jaehyun agreed. "No matter how you look at it I'm better than everyone."

He was smiling and it seemed just good enough for now anyway. 

*

"How do drunk people keep getting more annoying?" Sangyeon asked. Working nights was such a trial because of all the drunkards. There always seemed to be much more to do and clashing hen parties were simply dangerous. 

"You need to get some ice on that," Sooyoung said as she ambled over from her own patrol car. The passenger she had in the back of her car was shrieking like a creature from another world. She was probably the bride. Regardless of her role she was definitely the one responsible for Jaehyun's blooming black eye. 

"That's very smart, I wish I had thought of that," Jaehyun said. 

"He's just grumpy because nobody is going to love him now that his face has been ruined," Sangyeon sighed. 

"That's rich coming from you," Jaehyun grumbled. "You walk around with a face like a smacked arse and expect people to love you."

"Oh, Boo Boo," Sooyoung cooed as she pinched Jaehyun's cheek. Right beneath his bruised and clawed eye. "There's no need to get upset just because the mean lady hurt your pretty face."

"I'll hurt your face in a minute," Jaehyun growled. 

"That's not very nice. I'll only let you if you can guarantee Haseul will kiss it better for me but I don't see that happening," Sooyoung said with a laugh. The look Jaehyun sent Sangyeon was utterly miserable and Sangyeon sort of felt sorry for him. 

"Sooyoung, help!" 

Haseul tackled the hen party bride immediately after her escape from the back of the police car, hat askew and hi-vis jacket spattered with the same muddy puddle which stained the bride's garish pink sash, but the other hens were jeering enough that it appeared Haseul might lose. 

"Leave this one to me, boys," Sooyoung saluted. She sauntered away and Jaehyun sagged into the side of their police car. He pulled his hand away from his face at last. 

"Is it as bad as it feels?" 

Sangyeon drew Jaehyun's chin closer and tilted him this way and that. Holding Jaehyun's face in his hands, it was so easy. To kiss him, to headbutt him, whatever. He was beautiful. The darkening bruise didn't make too much of a difference. 

"No. You look perfect. As always."

Jaehyun closed his eyes. It was so much easier. Sangyeon really could have done it. 

But the hen in the back seat hammered on the car window and Jaehyun slipped away. They needed to get back to work. 

*

Sangyeon liked Chaekyung's new flat, especially now that it was fully furnished. Her roommate Chaewon had a fancy new coffee machine that she was experimenting with. The coffee smelled so good that Sangyeon was disappointed at how different the taste was. 

"Why did you bring me to this awful place?" Jaehyun gagged. The face he pulled looked more pathetic than usual with the smear of purple around his eye. But Sangyeon couldn't feel too sorry for him. 

"I didn't bring you. You followed me even though I told you I had plans."

"It's very rude to invite yourself to other people's homes," Chaekyung said loftily. "The coffee is gorgeous, Chaewon. You've really outdone yourself."

"Thank you! The syrups are all expiring soon because I bought a lot on sale so I made sure to use all of them."

"I can have you done for murder," Jaehyun wheezed. He had a point. The coffee was vile. Chaewon looked worried as she brought a tray of cooling biscuits to the table. 

"You could have saved yourself if you hadn't followed me," Sangyeon pointed out as he took a biscuit for himself. The biscuit was much better than the coffee and he used the bright plastic tongs to plate up a biscuit for Jaehyun and passed it over to him. "It's good. Eat it."

Jaehyun glowered and listlessly flicked the biscuit in front of him. "I knew you'd be the death of me, Sangyeon."

"You two are so dramatic," Chaekyung scoffed. "It's fine. We're all fine, you stupid babies. Chaewon, you're the world's top batista."

Jaehyun pulled a face and leaned closer to glare at him alone. Sangyeon patted him on the head and it was sort of nice seeing the pretence of being unsympathetic accepted so easily. 

*

"I'm an idiot," Sangyeon said. They'd stopped for lunch and there were far better times to admit shortcomings but Sangyeon found that he couldn't focus. 

"I'm not going to disagree with you," Jaehyun said as he stared up at the Subway menu. He was going to get the same thing as always but for some reason Sangyeon had noticed that Jaehyun had trouble remembering just what his usual was. 

Maybe in some respect they were both idiots. 

"I have something to tell you that you might not like."

Jaehyun's gaze flickered away from the menu for a moment. He shrugged. "You say lots of things I don't like. Just spit it out."

There was nothing for it. 

"You've been a brilliant friend to me. I don't know if I would have been able to do so well as a police officer without you."

"Hold on," Jaehyun interrupted. His attention had been caught and he squinted at Sangyeon. "Do you have an incurable disease? Are you telling me you're going to die and I'll have to partner up with that weird Luda girl? You can't do this to me Sangyeon, she's the worst officer I have ever seen, she's going to get someone killed some day. That's not going to be me. Don't let it be me, Sangyeon."

Sangyeon couldn't help but laugh at Jaehyun's catastrophising. At least things could always be worse. 

"I'm not dying. I won't let Luda kill you either," Sangyeon promised. They shuffled forward in the queue. "I just wanted you to know that you're special to me. If that's not too weird."

Jaehyun returned to half paying attention as he was before. "It's definitely weird. But that's you. Weird."

*

All in all the day was going well. Jaehyun was giving Sangyeon more leeway with what he classed as being annoying. Sangyeon wouldn't say he was anymore annoying than Jaehyun but he took the allowances being made for him. 

They only had half an hour left of the beat when Jaehyun smiled at Sangyeon. "You're alright, you know. But you should try to make things up to me. Take me out and make it worth my while." 

"You're awful, you know that," Sangyeon said with a grin. 

"Oh, officers! I've just been mugged!" 

Sangyeon supposed there were people far more awful than Jaehyun in the world. The poor woman had a graze on her cheek and her hair was awry as she babbled at the two officers to explain her issue. 

They took down the details of the crime and the description of the assailant. It was a handbag theft. Nine out of ten of them went unsolved but Sangyeon and Jaehyun were going to make a go of searching. It was their job even if it took them a shade over the end of their shift. 

*

Sangyeon squeezed his eyes shut. He shouldn't have made a promise he couldn't keep. 

Everything hurt so much but it was so close to ending. Sangyeon wouldn't have to feel anymore of that. But for the last moment Sangyeon wished he was alone. He wished there wasn't anyone to hear any last thoughts that might slip from between his lips. He wished Jaehyun wasn't there to have his own last moments too. 


End file.
